Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back +/-

No points will be awarded for the Luke, Han, Leia love triangle. I just can’t decide when to add or subtract points. Han gets shut down several times, but he ultimately wins in the end. I can’t bring myself to add points to Luke because it’s too weird.

I’m not including Obi Wan or Yoda. While they are critical characters, Obi Wan is only a spirit at this point and can only offer guidance. I won’t include Yoda even if I do the New Trilogy because his score would be terrible.

 

Han Solo

Han goes out on his own to rescue Luke. He finds Luke and they both survive despite the odds not being in their favor (775 : 1). While Luke is delirious, Han uses his quick wit to keep Luke warm and set up shelter.	+2  Overall: +2
Han expertly sneak attacks the Imperial Probe Droid. He doesn’t even hit it that hard, despite shooting it in the back twice.	+1  Overall: +3
Han navigates the asteroid field successfully even though the smaller more agile Tie fighters are unable to. The odds aren’t in his favor again (3,720:1).	+1  Overall: +4
Han lands inside an asteroid that’s not entirely stable.	-1  Overall: +3
Han escapes from the giant space slug. There's not time to discuss it with a committee.	+1  Overall: +4
Han lands on the back of an Imperial star destroyer because light speed isn’t working.	+1  Overall: +5
Knowing standard Imperial procedure, Han floats away with the rest of the garbage and comes up with a plan to meet Lando.	+1  Overall: +6
Han gets set up by Lando and captured. They never even ask him any questions.	-1  Overall: +5
Han tells Chewy to take care of Princess Leia, and even though he might die in carbon freeze, still comes up with a witty reply to Leia. He’s pretty much taking one for the team here. Supposedly Leia and Chewy will be safe with Lando if Han goes with Boba Fett.	+2  Overall: +7
A New Hope Score: +8	Overall +15

Final Thoughts:  Luke and Han don’t waste any time reminding you that by now they are old buddies. It’s literally the first line in the movie. Han is pretty strong in this episode. He has a lot of great lines too. Sometimes I think he’s alright, when he isn’t acting like a scoundrel. I like the sound of that. Plus, he’s not a racist.

Luke

Gets sneak attacked by a wampa.	-1  Overall: -1
Luke uses the force to pull his lightsaber out of the snow, chop the wampa’s arm off and escape. Keep in mind, he was never taught to use the force to move objects, and he hasn’t used a lightsaber in actual combat before. He’s quite clever, you know.	+2  Overall: +1
Luke commands the snowspeeders against the AT-ATs. Even without his copilot, Luke manages to work with Wedge to tie up the legs of an AT-AT and bring it down.	+1  Overall: +2
Luke uses the tow cable to reach the belly of an AT-AT and throws a bomb in.	+1  Overall: +3
I’m gonna summarize Luke’s time on Dagobah because it’s too hard to score. Luke crashes on Dagobah, but there wasn’t really anywhere to land anyway. Luke finds Yoda with very little information (first name and planet). Luke convinces Yoda to train him. He excels but makes mistakes as well. Luke disobeys Yoda by bringing weapons to the cave, but he learns a very important lesson about the dark side. Luke becomes much stronger with the force, but is still unable to completely lift his ship out. He is even able to sense the future and tell his friends are in trouble, but he leaves before completing his training.	+1  Overall: +4
Luke arrives in cloud city and battles Darth Vader. I’m gonna break this fight up into 3 rounds. There will be excessive details in a different post. But here, I’m gonna keep the descriptions short. Round 1: Luke wins 10-9	+1  Overall: +5
Darth retreats and then outclasses Luke using the force to fight his battles for him. Luke is almost finished, but hangs in there. Round 2: Darth wins 10-8. Luke is saved by the bell.	-1  Overall: +4
Round 3: Darth comes on really strong in the 3rd and finishes it early. Luke loses a hand.	-1  Overall: +3
Luke resists the dark side. He learns the truth about Darth Vader, even though he thinks it’s not true, it’s impossible. However, after searching his feeling, he knows it to be true. He would rather die than join the dark side, but luckily for him, he doesn’t die.	+1  Overall: +4
Luke uses the force to call Leia to rescue him.	+1  Overall: +5
Score from A New Hope: +11	Overall: +16

Final thoughts: This isn’t Luke’s best showing. He learns a lot, but still isn’t quite a Jedi knight. He’s got a negative attitude and prefers to talk about what cannot be done. He’s judging people by their size and doesn’t believe what he sees with his own eyes. In the next episode he will really gain confidence and put up some big numbers.

 Darth Vader

Vader somehow knows that the destroyed probe droid on Hoth is where the rebels are. Piett is the guy who finds the lead and mentions it, then it is overheard by Vader. He is rewarded later when he gets promoted.	+1  Overall: +1
I want to award Vader a point for choking out Admiral Ozzel, but it could’ve been avoided. Vader should be in charge of their military strategy especially when it comes to piloting. His unique skill since he was a boy has been his flying ability. Why is he letting some scrub make decisions and pilot his fleet?	+0  Overall: +1
The crew doesn’t need their scum, but Darth Vader employs several bounty hunters anyway, which turns out to be a great move.	+1  Overall: +2
Arrives just before the rebels on Bespin. Sets up a pretty good trap to lure Luke that works just as planned. All too easy.	+1  Overall: +3
Round 1: Vader starts off slow, gauging his opponent. He thinks he’s got it wrapped up early in the first round but ends up eating a few shots.	-1  Overall: +2
Round 2: Vader regroups in the second and uses his tactical advantages. Force throwing objects is something Luke hasn’t seen before.	+1  Overall: +3
Round 3: Vader fights through some shots and finishes in the 3rd.	+2  Overall: +5
He reveals his identity and offers Luke an opportunity, but gets rejected. His plan to disable the Millennium Falcon is foiled.	-1  Overall: +4
A New Hope: 4	Overall: +8

Final Thoughts: Vader is really strong in this episode. It’s the only one in the original trilogy where he doesn’t lose a Death Star at the end. He is absolutely a major character at this point. The imperial march is introduced and played multiple times. He has no commanding officer and “promotes” his own staff as often as there are openings. I like that when the Falcon escapes at the end he doesn’t kill anyone. In my mind, it’s because he’s so mad that he doesn’t feel like it.
It appears at one point that he is absolutely faithful to the Emperor. He doesn’t care about damage to the ship when searching the asteroid field, despite the crew’s concerns. When the Emperor wants to contact him, he obeys immediately, even moving the ship to send a clear signal. But when confronting Luke, he is ready to betray the Emperor and rule the galaxy as father and son.

Admiral Ozzel

Comes out of hyperspace too close and alerts the rebels. He’s as clumsy as he is stupid.

-1 life Overall: Dead

R2D2

R2 just lays low for most of this episode. He’s on Hoth, but doesn’t do much. Then travels to Dagobah with Luke. I should give Artoo a point for asking to pilot the X-wing to Dagobah. Luke wants to keep it on autopilot for awhile, and his ship ends up at the bottom of a swamp. It’s impossible to know if Artoo would’ve done better, but he couldn't have done much worse.	+0  Overall: +0
R2 helps Chewie, Leia, and Lando escape by opening doors. He also learns something critical about the Millennium Falcon.	+1  Overall: +1
R2 saves the day again, by activating the disabled hyperdrive.	+2  Overall: +3
A New Hope: +8	Overall: +11

Final Thoughts: He lays low until needed, then saves the day. This is the 2^nd time that he’s retrieved critical information from a computer network without being asked. If he doesn’t enable lightspeed, Luke will be turned or killed and the rebellion will be crushed in one swift stroke. If R2 was on the Falcon instead of with Luke on Dagobah, he might’ve fixed the hyperdrive earlier and they may have never had to land at Cloud City. Han wouldn’t be a wall decoration, Luke would still have 2 real hands, and Lando would still be a minority business owner.

Leia

I’m not 100% sure it was her plan, but she’s the one that delivers the instructions to follow the 2 blasts from the ion cannon. The ion cannon gets the job done, that’s for sure.	+1  Overall: +1
She gets Luke’s message and makes Chewy turn the ship around.	+1  Overall: +2
A New Hope:+4	Overall: +6

Final Thoughts: Most of this episode she is just along for the ride.

Lando Calrissian

Lets Han land and welcomes him, then hands him over to Darth Vader. He had no choice.	-2  Overall: -2
Vader alters the deal enough times to make Lando take things into his own hands. He helps Leia and Chewy escape.	+1   Overall: -1
He helps fly the Falcon and is the one to actually retrieve Luke from where he is hanging beneath the carbon freezing chamber.	+1  Overall: +0

Final Thoughts: I almost didn’t include Lando, but I wanted to show that despite traitoring, he did what he could to make up for it. He will have a bigger role in the next episode and will finish with a positive score. In his defense, Vader didn’t tell him that Han would be handed over to Boba, or that Leia and Chewbacca would become Vader’s prisoners.

Gears 3

Stu and I have been playing through gears 3, occasionally these memes pop into my head

Forever Alone Meme

Then for the movie lovers

Then comes the parody

And for those who have hope