I be jiggin

I was showing luke videos of elmo and youtube and this came up and was great. That guy with the baggy pants is Mr. Noodle and he does break it down on occasion on the show.

STUPID POSTS

I'm gonna start a new column, anybody can post on it or make their own
its basically when you see something online that is so dumb that you feel like the person writing it might be retarded.

this is what my cousin posted on facebook
they should publish this in the front of grade school english books and have the heading "this could happen to you if you don't pay attention in class"

Brian G

I don't care what people think about how I handel my family business I do what I have to do for the good of the hole and not for the selfish

somersault kick

The ref lets almost lets this guy die before he stops it. He is just getting pounded.

friday meme

this is the hipster rebuttal meme.  basically these emo / hippy pictures have been popping up on the innernet and people edit them to be funny instead of sad/inspiring or whatever they were intended for

Music Comparison

It really bugs me that certain songs get so much play time on the radio. People that like whatever is popular fall for their gimmicks, but not me. I'm hearing more songs that are complete junk and empty of any musical talent. For example, Ke$ha songs are just a simple phrase repeated over and over with a ton of autotune and sound effects. You can hear her sing without autotune on youtube and it is very unpleasant. I have the same problem with Rihanna. Her stuff is garbage. Her current #1 could've been written by a 2nd grader. The few lyrics in the song are so vague, and none of it rhymes. I decided to break her song down and compare to some songs I like to prove that there is a logical reason for why her stuff is barely music.

We Found Love
[Rihanna]

[Verse 1]
Yellow diamonds in the light, and we're standing side by side
As your shadow crosses mine, what it takes to come alive

[Bridge]
It's the way I’m feeling I just can't deny
But I've gotta let it go

[Chorus 4 times]
We found love in a hopeless place

[Verse 2]
Shine a light through an open door, Love and life I will divide
Turn away cause I need you more, Feel the heartbeat in my mind

[Bridge]

[Verse 1]

[Chorus 8 times]

Stats:

# of different words used – minimal

Repetition – maximum, the same verse is used twice, the chorus is sung 12 times

Rhyming – once, probably on accident

Delivery – good, it’s the only reason this is even a song, she phrases things in an interesting way to make it seem like she's not just saying the same thing over and over. (even though she is)

Notes - You knew this song sounded really simple, did you realize how simple? There is hardly any verse, there is hardly an chorus. There is nobody singing harmony. Try reading the lyrics and tell me what it's about. There's no story, she hardly has a coherent thought. It's so repetitious that a preschooler would have memorized 60% of the song after listening once. The artist isn't challenged in her range at all. If this is music for preschoolers, that's fine with me, just stop playing it on the radio. And what happens if music degrades further and other artists start making songs with just 2 phrases they repeat 20 times in a song. I hope that doesn't happen. Let's check out a real song.

Pinball Wizard
[The Who]

[Verse 1]
Ever since I was a young boy, I've played the silver ball
From Soho down to Brighton, I must have played them all
But I ain't seen nothing like him, In any amusement hall

[Chorus]
That deaf, dumb and blind kid
Sure plays a mean pinball

[Verse 2]
He stands like a statue, Becomes part of the machine
Feeling all the bumpers, Always playing clean
He plays by intuition, The digit counters fall

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
He's a pinball wizard, There's got to be a twist
A pinball wizard, He's got such a supple wrist

How do you think he does it?
(I don't know)
What makes him so good?

[Verse 3]
He ain't got no distractions, Can't hear those buzzers and bells
Don't see lights a flashin', Plays by sense of smell
Always gets a replay, Never tilts at all

[Chorus]

[Verse 4]
I thought I was, The Bally table king
But I just handed,My pinball crown to him
Even on my usual table, He can beat my best
His disciples lead him in, And he just does the rest
He's got crazy flipper fingers , Never seen him fall

[Chorus]

Stats:

# of different words used – Good

Repetition – Minimal

Rhyming – Great, the last line of the verse even rhymes with the chorus. it's cool because you don't even know you're in the chorus since the rhyme scheme is still there.

Delivery – Great, try to sing it in rockband, it's not so easy.

Notes - This song has a good story. It's pretty easy to follow, there is nice harmony, and it's a new idea. It's not just another love song. It's about a blind kid playing pinball and beating kids that can see. And it's based on a true story that actually happened to the artist. The verses all rhyme. That's not a new concept, that's what music is supposed to do. And just to let you know, when the guy wrote it, it was a joke. He said it was one of the worst songs he ever wrote. They only play it on the radio and at concerts because the fans liked it so much. Seems like a lost concept that fans would decide what music is good instead of just listening to whatever record companies tell radio stations to play.

99 Problems
Jay-z

[Bridge]
If you're havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one

[Verse One]
I got the rap patrol on the gat patrol, Foes that wanna make sure my casket's closed
Rap critics they say he's "Money Cash Hoes", I'm from the hood stupid, what type of facts are those?
If you grew up with holes in ya zapatos, You'd be celebrating the minute you was havin' dough
I'm like fuck critics you can kiss my whole asshole, If you don't like my lyrics you can press fast forward
I got beef with radio if I don't play they show, They don't play my hits I don't give a shit so
Rap mags try and use my black ass, So advertisers can give 'em more cash for ads, fuckers
I don't know what you take me as, Or understand the intelligence that Jay-Z has
I'm from rags to riches niggas I ain't dumb, I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
Hit me

[Chorus]
99 problems but a bitch aint one
If you're havin' girl problems i feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
Hit me

[Verse Two]
The year's '94 and my trunk is raw, In my rear view mirror is the mother fuckin' law
I got two choices y'all pull over the car or (hmmm), Bounce on the double put the pedal to the floor
Now I ain't tryin' to see no highway chase with Jay, Plus i got a few dollars i can fight the case
So I...pull over to the side of the road, I heard "Son do you know why I'm stoppin' you for?"
Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hats real low? Do I look like a mind reader sir, I don't know
Am I under arrest or should I guess some mo'? "Well you was doin fifty-five in a fifty-fo' "
"License and registration and step out of the car", "Are you carryin' a weapon on you I know a lot of you are"
I ain't steppin out of shit all my paper's legit. "Well, do you mind if I look round the car a little bit?"
Well my glove compartment is locked so is the trunk in the back, And I know my rights so you gon' need a warrant for that
"Aren't you sharp as a tack, you some type of lawyer or something'?" "Or somebody important or somethin'?"
Nah, I ain't pass the bar but i know a little bit, Enough that you won't illegally search my shit
"We'll see how smart you are when the K9 come." I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
Hit me

[Chorus 2x]

[Verse Three]
Now once upon a time not too long ago, A nigga like myself had to strong arm a hoe
This is not a hoe in the sense of havin a pussy, But a pussy havin no God Damn sense, try and push me
I tried to ignore him and talk to the Lord, Pray for him, cause some fools just love to perform
You know the type loud as a motor bike, But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight
The only thing that's gonna happen is I'ma get to clappin, He and his boys gon be yappin to the captain
And there I go trapped in the kit kat again, Back through the system with the riff raff again
Fiends on the floor scratchin again, paparazzi's with they cameras snappin them
D.A. tried to give the nigga shaft again, Half-a-mil for bail cause I'm African
All because this fool was harrasin' them, Tryin to play the boy like hes saccarin
But ain't nothin sweet 'bout how I hold my gun, I got 99 problems being a bitch ain't one.
Hit me

[Bridge 3x]

Stats:

# of different words used – Great

Repetition – Minimal

Rhyming – Great

Delivery – Great, try to memorize a verse and sing it without stumbling. It takes some practice

Notes: The beat to this song is great, plus the guitar sound was a nice changeup for a rap song. It paints a picture for you in each verse without ever breaking the rhyme scheme. That's what a talented artist does. Just look at all the words, he didn't write this song in an afternoon.

FRIDAY MEME

i'm off tomorrow, stu and i are going to play mw3 special ops pretty much all day, so i figured i would post the friday meme today.

this is the O'reilly / cant explain that meme
here is the explanation

You Can’t Explain That is an image macro series associating Bill O’Reilly with a misunderstanding of how mundane natural occurrences work. The ignorance in explaining natural phenomenon bears a similar resemblance to the Insane Clown Posse F*cking Magnets How Do They Work derivatives

In a discussion with American Atheists president Dave Silverman, Bill O’Reilly argued for the existence of a god by stating that the nature of tides leads to the existence of a higher being (at 1:54). The phrase “Tide goes in, tide goes out. Never a miscommunication. You can’t explain that,” became renowned following that interview

MW3

As bill pointed out, it looks like we are picking up where we left off.  i had a couple good matches last night, we did lose a couple more than we are used to, but we're still learning the maps

battlefield makes a quality game, but cod is a beast.  i saw a lot of debates in game informer between the 2 companies making the games, i didnt see what gamestop was like on the day battlefield came out, but i cant imagine it was as ridiculous as yesterday.  the line at my gamestop went out into the parking lot.

i figured i would post the perks and the pro perks so that we could decide which ones are best

Perk Slot 1

Recon / Recon Pro

Every enemy that takes explosive damage is marked as a red arrow on the radar, which also shows the direction the enemy is facing.

Pro Ability: Same as above, but it's achieved by causing bullet damage to the enemy.

Sleight of Hand / Sleight of Hand Pro

Reload your weapons 50% faster than normal. Sleight of Hand is extremely useful with Light Machine Guns since they have long reload times.

Pro Ability: Pick up and swap weapons 50% faster than normal.

Blind Eye / Blind Eye Pro

Enemy air support and sentries can't detect you.

Pro Ability: Faster launcher lock-on + extra bullet damage vs. enemy air support. This makes Light Machine Guns extremely effective against enemy air support.

Extreme Conditioning / Extreme Conditioning Pro

Allows you to sprint 2x times longer. Press and hold the left analog stick on the Xbox 360 (LS) or PlayStation 3 (L3) to sprint.

Extreme Conditioning is useful for aggressive rush tactics.

Pro Ability: Climb obstacles faster.

Scavenger / Scavenger Pro

Replenishes your ammunition when you walk over Scavenger bags that are dropped by players when they die. Grenade launcher ammo can only be replenished if the player that dropped the Scavenger bag had the same ammo.

Pro Ability: Extra starting magazines.

Perk Slot 2

Quickdraw / Quickdraw Pro

Allows you to aim down the sight 50% faster than normal. Quickdraw is ideal for quick-scoping with Sniper Rifles.

Pro Ability: Allows you to recover from equipment and grenade usage faster.

Blast Shield / Blast Shield Pro

Greatly reduces explosive damage.

Pro Ability: Makes you immune to Stun and Flash Grenades.

Hardline / Hardline Pro

Reduces the amount of kills required for any killstreak by one. For example, the Care Package normally requires 4 kills, but with Hardline, you only need 3 kills.

Pro Ability: Two kill assists add one kill towards your next killstreak. Deathstreaks require one less death.

Assassin / Assassin Pro

Makes you undetectable by UAV, thermal scopes, Heartbeat Sensors and Portable Radars. You can still show up on the radar if you fire a weapon that doesn't have a silencer.

Assassin doesn't protect you from the Recon perk or the Recon Drone killstreak.

Pro Ability: Makes you immune to Counter-UAV and EMP. Enemies won't see a red crosshair or name when targeting you.

Overkill / Overkill Pro

Allows you to carry two primary weapons, but the second primary weapon can't be equipped with attachments.

Pro Ability: Your second primary weapon can now be equipped with attachments.

Perk Slot 3

Marksman / Marksman Pro

Allows you to identify enemies from farther away by showing their names at a greater distance.

Pro Ability: Allows you to hold your breath 2x times longer than normal when steadying a weapons scope.

Stalker / Stalker Pro

Faster movement while aiming down the sight.

Pro Ability: Delays enemy detection-triggered explosives, like Claymores and Bouncing Betties.

Sitrep / Sitrep Pro

Highlights enemy explosives and tactical equipment in red.

Pro Ability: Makes enemy footsteps louder and also cancels out Dead Silence.

Steady Aim / Steady Aim Pro

Increases hip-fire accuracy.

Pro Ability: Allows you to aim down the sight faster after sprinting.

Dead Silence / Dead Silence Pro

Makes you silent and also reduces the effect of the Recon perk.

Pro Ability: You don't take any damage from falling.

MMA fighters break up robbery

it's pretty slow and the camera is not zoomed in. this robber gets more than he bargained for with a double team of jiu jitsu fighters on his back. at around 3 minutes he gets put in a body lock/

friday meme

this is the advice god meme
i think its pretty self explanatory

ICEBOX

saw this, had to post something, icebox is actually hot. she hasnt been in many other movies, but maybe her career will make a 2nd half comeback like the little giants

Tebowing

you guys probably know who tim tebow is, if not, he's the used to be backup, now starting, QB of the denver broncos.  he has this move where he kneels and prays, people have deemed this move "tebowing". they even made http://tebowing.com/ a site dedicated to tebowing, its going to be the next "planking"

this is tebow himself "tebowing"

only problem with having a signature move is that when the lions sack you 7 times and beat you 45-10, they get the chance to taunt you back using your own taunt.

also, this came up when searching for tebow, i thinks its his girlfriend or ex gf, but i really dont care
what i do care about is, has she done any pron work?

somebody needs to sign this chick up for something

also why are you even reading these captions

if you're still reading this caption tehn i've got bad news, youre gay