movie WTF: terminator

I think we all like to pick movies apart, especially sci fi movies.  as I watch something, i'm always thinking of what the characters should have done or why something doesnt make sense.  i'm gonna try to write these things down and explain why certain parts of movies are stupid.  the only rule is, you have to accept the rules of the movie.  for example, you can't debate how impossible it would be to create dinosaurs in jurassic park.  they tell you the guy made a T-rex, you must believe it.  however, you can complain about their dependence on electricity when they are on a tiny island.

heres my first attempt.  (keep in mind sometimes i might be wrong, so just correct me if something was actually explained in teh movie, i'll probably write stuff about movies i havent seen in over a decade)

Terminator

I’m sure there are tons of things you could argue with in the terminator series.  They have ridiculous things from self aware time traveling robots to heart transplants in the middle of the desert.  I’m not going to get into that, somehow my brain is able to accept those things.  However there are some things that bother me.

1. sending people back in time.

 I get it, you figured out time travel.  You must accept that time travel is possible in order to even watch these movies.  What I don’t understand is why neither the humans nor the robuts bring their future guns with them when they come back.  The movie gives an explanation that only living material can be sent back through time.  ok, makes sense…. I guess. (it actually makes no sense why that would be a constraint, but again, must accept the rules of the movie)

Here’s my idea

robots:  you already wrapped an entire metal endoskeleton in skin and sent that back, wrap a space gun and send that as well, or better yet, put the gun right in the terminators leg and he just pulls it out after traveling back in time.  

humans:  I understand they had less of a chance to prepare for time travel.  Reese says that they found the “time displacement equipment” in a factory, they sent him back in time and then destroyed the place (I’m guessing they took off and nuked it from orbit) 

however, I’m guessing you killed some terminators to get into the place or had some teammates killed, so take a gun, jam it inside their skin and then go in the time machine.

Also, how did the humans know that only living tissue will go through? “they didn’t build the fucking thing” as reese points out to one officer. So how did they know its capabilities.

2. how can john connor even exist?

John connor is created when kyle reese, who is sent back in time, bangs sarah connor.  I know time travel is confusing, so I’m going to try and simplify it to show the way I see it.

 

There has to be an original timeline.  John connor can not be kyle reese’s son in that original timeline.  Maybe he had another dad in the original timeline and still became the leader of the humans? Seems unlikely.

With this same theory, I also wonder how skynet can even exist. Miles Dyson says that his company reverse engineered the technology from this hand and compu chip they found to make skynet.  How did they make skynet originally?

also, think about this, some people say that there is no origin line of time, that events that happened have always happened and will always happen (that of course is nonsense), but if that was true. then terminators created their own worst enemy by inventing time travel, because that allowed reese to go back in time to create john conner.  so even though they invented time travel to kill him, they actually created him with it? somehow that doesnt make sense.

3. At one point, reese escapes the police station with the teminator right behind him, somehow the T1000's microprocessor is unable to calculate the speed and horsepower that a 1984 caprice classic is capable of producing.  he crashes into a wall (that alone is pretty dumb) but instead of chasing reese and sarah, he runs away to some apartment to fix his eye.  i was told "all he does is kill, he doesnt eat, sleep, and he definitely doesnt stop when he has his victims hurt and limping away to fix his eye." -kyle reese

Here are some pictures that are semi-related to terminator in case you didn’t want to read and would rather just look at funny pictures.

putinator?